Sweet Dreams

I'm on the floor of a classroom with a friend who is clearly shaken up about something. I'm not sure what has happened. I only comfort him. That's my job. He cries and I hold him. How long am I in there? I don't know. There is nothing in this room, just the walls and the typical classroom carpet. Its scratchy on my arms and legs. We don't talk, I just hold him. He finally smiles, "I'm late for my next class Jenn, and so are you."
Panic! I'm late again? Wasn't I just late for the last class? I was looking for the next class when I found this room with my friend in it all alone. But I couldn't leave him there now could I. This first day of school isn't going very well.
Now where is this next class? Looking at my over folded faded schedule I see my next class, "Dating". Dating? I don't have a boyfriend.... and I haven't for some time. I guess that makes sense.
I find the class. Single room building in the middle of the school field. Pointed roof. Wood walls. No windows. Two huge intimidating oak doors with a knocker. Clearly I'm late.... again. I shouldn't knock. Maybe I can just slip in unnoticed. Wrong.
Creeeeeeek! Two long rows of wooden desks filled with students. All faces I know, but names I cannot remember. They all look back at me. Body heat rises, palms sweat, heart races, anxiety sets in. Why do they all have to look at me? "Miss Jennifer, if you would be so kind to take a seat now."
"Yes professor." Professor? Really? Why did I say that?
A desk is empty in the middle. Just get there, sit down, and don't say a word.
I become very aware of my body and how awkward it is. Do my arms really swing like that all the time? Please don't trip. Must I walk so bouncy? Gosh, how far away is this desk?!
Finally, I sit. I can still feel eyes on me. They'll get bored and stop looking soon right?
The teacher clears his throat loudly as if you announce my interruption hindered whatever he was speaking about. I cant understand anything he is saying. Nothing at all. He wasn't speaking another language. I knew the words but I didn't know what he was saying. They didn't fit. Just random. But even so, everyone was taking notes. That's when I noticed the smell. Musky. Wet. Fleshy. Must be the old building.
Feeling safe of eyes I look around. That's when my heart drops to the pit of my stomach. Lightheaded. Warm. Clammy. Above me, in the corner of the ceiling is another one of my friends. He is in a sort of human cocoon. That's the smell. Hes naked. And hes not alone. Above every student there is another one. Male and female. All naked. All moving like fetuses in the womb. Some are dripping. Mine is. Mine.... He must be mine.
No one is acknowledging this. No one is looking up. Why? Ive got to get him down...... He cant breath..... Mines not moving as much as the others! I can see a rip in the fleshy cocoon! Hes going to fall! But how do I reach him? This room is so huge all of a sudden......
His eyes open. He looks around in. He sees me. He looks at me in a caring sort of way. His mouth moves, but I dont understand him. I have to get him down! This cant be normal.
SMACK! "Miss Jennifer don't make me address you again! Now, yours will come when he is ready for you."
What? Ready for me?
 My chest feels heavy.... Its blurry and bright... and there is something in my face.

Morning?

Routine

6am: Wake up.... (NoooOOooooooOOo I don't wanna)
Potty, teeth, face, makeup, hair, clothes, left shoe, right shoe, grab purse, keys, hop in car.

7am....ish: VVVVRRRRROOOOOOOOMMMMMM

7:10ish: Clean up, load paper, stock crap, clock in at 7:30, check email...... blah blah freakin blah

7:30 - 4:30pm: Brain dead... copy copy copy copy copy copy, lunch, copy copy copy copy copy copy scan copy copy..... ... ...... ... ..... .... .. ..... ....

4:30pm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

5pm: food

6pm: Facebook, Youtube, Gmail, Yahoo, Twitter, Dailybooth, phone call, eat more....

8pm.... so tired.... read book

9pm. Dead.


Yup... that's how Monday - Thursday are for me these days. Super awesome.


Then comes Friday.... And all is good with the world again.

Then Saturday, and I let my crazy out.

;p

Sleepless In My Room

You know whats annoying?
My brain. My brain and how it has no idea how to just shut up and take a break.

At night I can never seem to just lay down and think of maybe one or two things. No no no, my brain wants to think of a song while thinking of a movie I wished I was in, at the same time going over how I cant seem to get over that dang bridge in Res Evil 5, mixed in with random nonsense like, how did that bottle get in my closet with my shoes, or, man Harlow sure can snore like a man, and maybe tomorrow will be the day I start running. I suppose this is why I can multitask pretty well..... Except for texting, I still cant get the hang of texting, walking, and talking at the same time, but I think that has more to do with coordination than anything else. So in short, it takes me forever to actually drift off to slumber land.

Last night I tried something new. I wanted to try that whole counting thing. You see it on TV allot. Counting sheep, counting backwards, blah blah blah. I figured it would be so boring to me I would just fall asleep for something to do. Alas.... this was not the case. Of course. That's far to simple to work. I should have known.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, hey this is working.... bah! Dang it!....

1, 2, 3, 4, There was no reason for J.K. Rowling to kill Lupin and Tonks... crap

1, 2, 3, wait aren't I supposed to be counting backwards from 100?

99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 91, 90, 80, 81... what the? That doesn't work.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, .............. 82, 83, 84,... This is taking forever.

85, 86, 87, 88, 89, I wonder if Ill remember the number I'm on when I finally pass out..

90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 94, 94, 94, 94, I bet that cricket is just hanging out with its little family in my room still.....

uhh.... 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, shouldn't I be asleep yet

100, 101, 102, 103, I'm you biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, papa paparazzi....

104, 105, 106, 107 banana, 108 banana, 109 banana, why bananas? why not coconuts, or passion fruit?

110 coconuts, 111 coconuts, more coconuts kill people then you think

112, 113, 114 ha the 3rd wife on sister wives thinks that toasters are the leading cause for deaths in homes so she doesn't use one

115, 116, when is LA Inc on TLC?

Crap....

This isn't working.

Count sheep?

1, 2, 3, nah, I wanna count moose.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, heheheheheheheh

6, 7, 8, 9, 10, mooses, moosen...

11, 12, 13, whats the plural for platypus? platypi? ...... hahaha, platypi.

It got worse as the night went on.

Needless to say, I didn't fall asleep till 5am and was promptly woken at 7 when the front door was slammed.

Tonight... warm milk.



Paranoia made me sleep with the lights on...

I do stupid things sometimes. Okay, maybe not stuuuupid things, but pretty silly things.
Example:
Last night I go to hop in my bed and notice a little cricket at the foot of my bed. Instant panic. My feet are already under the blankets and right next to the evil thing, and I know once I move them... It will jump. I try to move as slllllloooooowwww as possible but to no avail. It jumps. I scream. The thing lands on my TV dresser table thing and I'm already at my bedroom door calling for my mommy (see this is one good reason why I need a man, my own personal bug squisher). But then I think I can kill it with a shoe, IF I can be quick enough. I inch towards the nasty little thing, whining the whole time as I do so. Deep breath. These things can jump any direction at a moments notice! Swing! Boom!.......... Where did it go? Did I get it? No... nothing on the bottom of the shoe.... nothing on the dresser.... GAH! WHERE DID IT GO?!?!?
"MUM!!!!!" I yell running down the hall.
"Problem?" She says.
"HUGE bug! Bug in my room!!" Still holding the bug free shoe in my hand.
"Put Harry or Cedric in there." She suggest calmly (even though if it were her she would be freaking out too)
"Yeah, yeah. Harry or Cedric. Harry catches everything."
I grab Harry and Cedric and toss them into my room and close the door. Then run to the kitchen to get the bug spray. When I come back Harry is lounging on my bed and Cedric already asleep under my desk. Some help they are....
Since I am retarded I spray, just in case, in any nook I think the little nasty is hiding. Now my room smells of bug spray and a fruity candle. I'm gonna be high as a kite soon. After spraying I stand by my door with my shoe, waiting for the thing to hop out to his death.
He never does.
I made sure both my cats and my dog were on my bed with me before I got under the covers. Then I just sat there kinda watching TV till I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.
I feel like it is on me. Watching me. Just biding its time till I let my guard down. That's when it will strike. Crawl up my nose or in my ear and lay eggs.

Now, I'm not just crazy. There is a very good reason why I have this fear of crickets. If it were any other bug, other than a cockroach of course, I would just squish it and be fine. When I was no older than 8 I was laying in my bed all innocent and adorable. When I opened my eyes, and the light from my door was shining on a cricket no more then an inch from my nose, making it look HUGE. I freaked and leaped out of my bed, into the hall, and ran into the bathroom. Here is where I made a mistake, I never closed the door all the way. While I was just sitting on the toilet waiting for my mom to fall asleep the EVIL thing followed me into the bathroom! It hopped all the way to me and started climbing the wall! I freak again and run back into my room slamming the bathroom door as I go. I'm convinced this thing wants to get me so I sit on the floor by my closet staring at the bathroom door for it to come out, while waiting for my mom to go to bed.... so I can sneak into her bed without her noticing. It never comes back out, I don't think it was smart enough to open the door. Dumb bug. I sneak into my moms bed and tell her the story in the morning. She, of course, doesn't believe me. It was traumatizing. And now I am forever afraid of crickets.

Rachel & Jennifer: A History

The year is 1995.
Two girls by the name of Rachel Virginia Hale and Jennifer Marie Jones were sitting quietly on the floor in Jennifer's bedroom on a Saturday afternoon. They were playing marbles, on carpet no less. Rachel likes this Jennifer for some very good reasons, she can be very random, and very funny 94% of the time. Jennifer likes this Rachel because she is quiet, innocent, someone for her to crack, make her own. Now it is not a fact, but these two probably just got done swimming and eating a lunch of pizza and soda. While sitting on the floor, Jennifer says something, as to what that something was no one remembers because of what happened right after the comment was made. Rachel burst out in laughter! And something happened. Something happened that would change their lives forever (or at least Jens as Rachel doesn't think of this as our defining moment) And when that "thing" happened, Jennifer knew, she knew from that day forth this quiet girl would be her best friend forever. And thus it was (so far at least... )

2010

Rachel and I have known each other for quite some time. Even before that fateful evening so many years ago. We have been in the same ward since I can remember. But alas.... Miss Hale did not like me. She tolerated me. For the longest time. I don't blame her though, I was a bit on the annoying side until I figured out how to channel my annoying ADD qualities into something artistic. But despite the annoyance we still hung out.... at home. Home was the best place. She was SUPER quiet and shy then. At home she was just as crazy as me. Oh the random conversations we would have about bodily functions. What a blast! (no pun)

Most of the time we would hang out at my house, I always lived somewhere that had a pool. Swimming was our main pastime. We would go on adventures, dive for rocks, make up dances, put the chairs in the deep end so we could stand, play hide and seek, swim to the opposite sides of the pool then go under water and try to talk and see if we could guess what the other was saying... we never could though. We always had toys of some sort, and still do :p

(Unfortunately I no longer have older pictures of us since my computer crashed so these are from this year)

Throughout the years we had SO many sleep overs. We would stay up so late just giggling about nothing. We giggled so much my mom would have to yell at us to shut up at least 3 or 4 times a night. The slumbers parties usually happened at my house since she had younger siblings at the time and they were oh so annoying.... then. I also had the soda and pg13 movies... gasp!!!! We had slumber parties up until we were..... uh... well, last year I think it was. And we are already talking about another.

The adventures we would go on.... So random. We would be out till the wee hours of the morning. I think the longest we went was a spur of the moment trip to some lake where we watched the sun come up and didn't get home till 9am. Our adventures usually ended with us at our favorite neighborhood park, Granada. We would go to bond fires, church things, dancing, just hang out, parties, and still we would end up at the park at 1am.

Something else we LOVE to do is have photos shoot. Dress up if we could. Do our makeup. Be sexy. Be silly. (I am REALLY sad I don't have all of our pics anymore!)

In the last year though, since some personal life changes in myself, we have grown so much closer. I love this girl with all my heart! I swear we are soul mates. We joke that if only one of us was a guy we would be perfect lol, and that she looks for me in her guys and I look for her in mine. Yeah I know... We are and odd pair.



both of these were takin at our yearly ward camp out. We are totally hotter now :p

We be like fine wine, we get better with age!

Since last summer we have been on a few road trips. Our first major one ever was this summer to Utah to meet a boy of mine. I got to see the Salt Lake Temple for the first time with her. I was glad to share that experience with her! We also found out we don't want to kill each other by the end of the trip like we thought we would. We actually got along pretty darn well to where we would totally do it again.

And now it is our favorite time of the year again.... Halloween. Time to try on 5 billion costumes and go to every Halloween store we can find.

Our story doesn't end here. It ends years from now when we are old, our husbands have passed, and our great grandchildren have put us in a home together where we are roommates. She will be the cute, quiet, calm, sensible one that has to keep reminding the pink haired, loud, still thinks she is 20, old lady with the decked out glitter walker (me of course) that Lady Gaga has not come back from planet zorgenfeffer to take her away to a land of paparazzi and monsters. Though I guess it doesn't really end there either does it? ;)

 



Some extra random pics that I still have the pleasure to have.

 

My Best Friend <3